feeling down..

I've got a lot og things to say today. But it is a bit hard since i've already promised that i'm going to write in English on every Wednesday..

SPM result released today. For my subject, there is a decrease in A achievers number but better GPMP (Gred Purata Mata Pelajaran). At 1st, i don't really mind since i think the result is okay (though there are few students whom I target to get A but instead they only got B). But then, when i get to know my friends' students' result, my heart sank to the deepest. Why shouldn't I? 1 friend got 12A, 7A- and 2B. Another friends got %A and 6A-..

I feel so down. what have i done to my student? haven't I done enough? Why can't my students get at least half of the best result? What's wrong with me? Is it because I'm lazy to cook new food for the student? Is it because i did not give them enough exercise? Is It because???? Ahhh!!!! I don't know!

My sister also got her result today. At 1st, she was so sad because she only got 7A instead of what she target before. She especially, afraid of our father. She afraid that he would be angry with her result. but when she get to know her friends' result, all of her bad feeling (ok, i admit, i forgot the word 'kerisauan') slowly fade away.. When she got home, instead of scolding her, my father greet her with "Congratulation" and she started to smile again.

How about her school teacher? They really put high hope on their student. I bet their teachers are having the same feeling like i do now.. I bet, their keep searching for the reason why things didn't happen as they expected.

Arrgghhh!! I hate this feeling.. May this feeling gone when I open my eyes tomorrow for there are lot of things to think and be done ahead.

p/s: My english is bad huh? Who cares? I am not the one who will be taking English/ 1119/ MUET paper at the end of this year